We just got back from a long weekend in Grand Junction for our first trip out in "The Mazziotti" camper and first real good wheeling trip of the season in Warthog Xtreme. Write up is coming on www.MotleyCrawlers.com soon but here is a preview of a few pictures from the girls during the trip!
Click the picture below for more pictures of the trip!
It has long been rumored that the book The Devil Wears Prada was written loosely on a true story about Vogue editor, Anna Wintour. After watching the September Issue I would say I’d certainly agree. Many assistants have written books about their executives and I often joke with TGIWF that I’m drafting mine! I really don’t have anything down on paper yet, but based on the things I’ve got that I would put in there, I am pretty sure it would end up in the comedy section.
Truth be told, I do NOT work for the Devil and he does not wear Prada, he wears Fivefingers! I’m going on seven years now of being his assistant, and I know more about him than he probably wants to realize. When he teases me about something, my first comeback is usually “watch it, I know your mother’s maiden name!” He often tells others that I run the show which I’ll flatter to giggle at but truth be told, he really is in charge and I just try to make it all come together easier at the end of the day. I have a cup on my desk that says “I’m the bosses go to man” and I really am. He comes to me for help. He comes to me to vent. He comes to me to share his worries and he comes to me for advice!
In all the seven years I’ve worked with him, we have rarely done anything together outside of work. My first day, he took me out to lunch and on my five year anniversary we had our second lunch. He came to my wedding in 2008 and when I told him I was pregnant, it was like being a teenager telling my father I was knocked up!! I later realized he was so quiet because he didn’t hear “Yea, my assistant is starting a family!” What he actual heard was “Crap. My assistant is going to have kids and leave me. I’m going to have to replace her. CRAP.” Most of this separation is probably by my choice I suppose. He already spends enough time with me as it is, I don’t want to take over his personal life too!!
But he and his lovely wife, CUHNBSDLTBBA (aka: Can’t Use Her Name Because She Doesn’t Like To Be Blogged About) invited my family over to dinner this past weekend to show me their appreciation for everything I do for them. Now understand, CUHNBSDLTBBA is NOT your typical CEO wife. She doesn’t call me in the middle of the day to tell me her Mercedes needs waxed today and I need to schedule that for her. She also doesn’t email me to tell me the puppy needs his nails done and fur fluffed, can I come fetch him. She is a hard working wife and when I do hear from her, it’s to tell me things like:
Your wedding was beautiful and so much fun.
Thank you for helping me get a great price on that flight.
Congratulations on your baby twins! Can’t wait to meet them!
You’re amazing, I can’t believe you got around the red tape!
They are both normal, down to earth people and I respect them both so much for that reason. I don’t bring in fresh sliced ham and the Wall Street Journal every morning and properly place it in the middle of his desk on the overpriced china he used company funds to buy. We don’t have china and I often have to explain to him that some things really are ok to put on the corporate AMEX.
So what better way to repay these two people who have essentially provided me a great place to work, a very reasonable health plan to cover my family and a decent enough salary that I’m considered an upper class American?
I know! I’ll have my daughter pee on your high end sculpted white carpet! That’s a GREAT IDEA!! And that is exactly what I did! At dinner I brought our twin, potty training two year olds along as requested and spent the entire night secretly praying they wouldn’t do exactly what Ashley decided to do – stand in the middle of the carpet and pee!
Let’s back up a bit here folks. We started with a house tour that began in TGIWF’s office which includes musical instruments and a bookshelf FULL with tons of old toys. Neither of them touched a thing until they were given permission to and at that, only borrowed two approved items each. We then walked past shelves and shelves full of books and did not touch any of them. Anyone who has babysat my kids know they don’t like toys, they prefer books. They love books! And they didn’t touch any of theirs. Well behaved little babies I’ve got. Then for dinner, we sat the girls down to a nice meal with chicken and (wait for it) ketchup*! No issues there, red stuff went in their mouth and barely dirtied their outfit. Something had to happen and since Phill and I have worked so hard to have the kind of kids we really could take to the bosses house for dinner, it had to be an accident. And it had to be pee on the carpet in a house that has very little carpet!!
Most assistants would be completely mortified. Don’t get me wrong, I was certainly very apologetic and embarrassed, but I wasn’t apologizing for them taking a sharpie pen to the walls or razor blades to paintings. I was apologizing for something that just plain happens! The mistake I did make? Scooping her up and running her to the bathroom and leaving my husband there to face them and the pee! Poor guy doesn’t know them as well as I do but Phill always holds his own and can charm anyone. By the time I came back, all was fine, and they were already in conversation and back to eating dinner! WHEW!!
This is certainly a chapter that will end up in my future book, TGIWF Wears Vibram. At the end of the day, TGIWF and his wife, CUHNBSDLTBBA were so wonderful and welcoming to us. At the end of the day I still have my job and I’m fairly certain they still like us. I’m sure they’ve had a few laughs about the night as well!
Where the hell is TGIWF today anyway? Oh, that’s right…he’s working from home this morning waiting for the carpet cleaners to show up!!
*I added ketchup to the dinner. Our meal was wonderful with salad and roasted potatoes, but all two years like ketchup! I know, I’m brave but remember, ketchup wasn’t the issue…
Operation Can-Cancun has officially begun! I am nearing the end of my first week of my new eating plan and I think I’m doing great!! I have a hard time calling it a diet simply because I’m actually eating much more than I did before. But I’m eating better food and now that I’m getting used to what I can eat, I’m now figuring out how to incorporate it in to my families diet without forcing them to eat weird stuff they don't want to.
Why Can-Cancun?? Let me explain. Phill and I have made our reservations for a trip to Cancun in June and I’ve got to whip my stuff in to shape!! My effort is to lose a few icky puff pounds I’m not happy with and I have promised myself that I “CAN” do this before going to “CANCUN”….hence, Can-Cancun!! Just smile and nod. Phill does it all the time.
But read on, you may end up either finding this really interesting, or deciding you hate me just a little bit more than you did before. I’ve never really gone on a diet in my life. I very rarely weigh myself and until yesterday I never owned a scale. I’ve never had an issue with my weight and I’ve never been more than 10 or 15 lbs. over my ideal weight in my life. Go ahead and say it. <BITCH> I know. I heard it a lot when I was pregnant and still hear it since after having the girls. Maybe even heard it a little more before getting pregnant? ANYWAY - when I found out I was pregnant, I changed nothing in my diet intentionally other than I quit eating raw fish. The rest of it came naturally.
My huge weakness has always been salt and the salty craving of potato chips. When I became pregnant, my body naturally clicked in to whatever it was supposed to and my salty chip craving completely went away. I’ve never been a fan of pop (it’s sticky and it makes me burp! Eww!) so there was no need to kick any habits there since I don’t have any, and I’ve always typically stuck with ice tea or water. Since discovering my Thermo Hospital 32oz. Plastic cup, I’ve been able to easily keep up with my 80oz. daily water requirement at the comfort of my desk at work with the potty around the corner! Easy! My body changed my cravings with everything else and I began eating fresh fruit instead of chips and I ended up having a fairly healthy pregnancy with ideal weight gain as a result. Don’t be fooled in to thinking being knocked up is your free ticket to eat crap food. Poor Jessica Simpson will learn that the hard way.
Here’s where the effort of change comes in. I weigh less now than I did before I got pregnant and I’m in much better shape. Go ahead…<BITCH>!! I know, but I decided after giving birth to have a tummy tuck. No no, don’t gasp in ground breaking gossip shock…I had a mother-nature tummy tuck. I worked my butt off and successfully nursed both girls for 5-1/2 months. (Yes, those two extra weeks are worth taking credit on!! Anyone who knows how hard breast feeding is understands my need to add the two weeks!) In a sense, I had a double tummy tuck because I was producing twice the amount of milk than most women do with a pregnancy and the more they ate, the more I saw my shape come back. Losing the preggo weight was not a big deal for me.
Why do we need operation Can-Cancun then? Because I read Us Weekly and People Magazine and curse at the pictures of Jennifer Lopez, Marcia Cross, Angelina Jolie and other celebrity twin mom’s on their trips to Cancun and I quickly realize that the LV bikini I bought myself two weeks before getting pregnant just isn’t looking good and even I don’t want to see that. Understand, there is a very fine line for where I want to be in that statement. Jennifer Lopez? – Heck ya! Let’s do that!! Angelina Jolie? Sorry Angie…I’ve actually got TGIWF, BoMo and others on high alert to tell me if I start looking gauntly thin. I just wanna trim up my tummy and get rid of all traces of a muffin top!
So what am I doing to achieve this? I’ve completely changed the way I’m eating. TGIWF did this a few years ago and he is just like me. I’ve been working with him for seven years now and in that time he has never been over weight. But a few years ago he changed to a healthier way of eating and lifestyle and I think he looks younger now than he did. (No, I’m not trying to get a raise!! I’ve already earned one!!) It’s the simple rule of thumb, if you can’t shoot it or grow it, it’s probably not on the list of things you should be sticking in your body. Then balance. Yes you can shoot a cow but don't eat the whole damn thing in one sitting!
Unpractical? Surprisingly not and prepping my food is going to be a lot easier now too. My friend Kelli who really turned me on to this said I’ll notice it’s more expensive to eat healthy but since I’m packing my lunch, I’m finding that not to be the case either. Why not give it a try? So I did!
Today's meal looks like this:
Breakfast
2 hard-boiled eggs (Protien)
1 piece dry low calorie toast (Starch)
AM Snack
2 Ak-mak Crackers (I actually like those things??!!) (Starch)
Lunch
1 cup of mixed green salad with 1-1/2 Tbsp. of fat free dressing (Veggie #1)
12 Strawberries (Fruit #1)
Sliced raw ½ cucumber (Veggie #2)
High protein Sour Cream & Onion puffs (Protien)
PM Snack
Raw green pepper (Veggie #3)
Dinner
Baked chicken breast (6 oz.) with Red Pepper, basil and Lite salt
Sliced raw tomato with 1 tsp. Olive Oil drizzled on it with basil (Veggie #4)
1 cup Watermelon (Fruit #2)
I’ve lost 4lbs. already. Go ahead...say it!
It’s been far too long since I’ve update my blog so why not throw one big end of year blog out there with a few recent pictures, right?
We’ve had an amazing year! The girls have been growing so much and they keep Phill and I happily busy! They not only walk, they are running, dancing, playing, learning, talking and just plan having a lot of fun! It’s still amazing to me every day to look at them and think, wow…we did that! I’ve had a great work/life balance this year thanks to the luck I have in convincing TGIWF that I’m still pretty cool to keep around and we’re all four in relatively good health given our respective ages so there’s really nothing to complain about!
Our major event this year was the final completion of Warthog Xtreme and the new addition of the camper to the mix. It wheeled great and we have very few tiny items on the “want” list to make it the perfect 4-Wheeler of our dreams! The best part, the girls love it as much as we do! If we had just finished it a few months earlier, their first words might have been Jeep but every morning when we pile in the car to go to school there is typically a shout out to the third bay of “Jeep!! Jeep!!” We do however need to work on our manners when we pull in to a parking lot and see a stock Jeep. That usually results in pointing and them saying “baby Jeep” but it’s just so darn cute! You don’t realized just how big the thing is until you pull it out and park it next to something other than mom’s Canyonaero!!
Once all four of us finally got over the stomach bug that wiped out everyone but the cat, we were able to enjoy a little traditional fun of making cookies and visiting Santa at the Zoo Lights, both a 2nd year now tradition. Bree is still VERY allergic to egg but I’ve found a really good recipe for sugar cookies that still do the job and this year the girls each got to take their own hand to the frosting bags for some creative decorating! It was surprisingly less messy than I thought it would be!
Our next major family milestone will be potty training and fun! We’ve got lots of plans for trips this year with the Jeep and camper and with this being the first year we haven’t been in a major undertaking (2011: Jeep Build, 2010: House Build, 2009: Baby Build!!) we might actually sit back and take some pictures of a lot of really cool stuff! Unless we decide to finish the basement….
Have a really great start to 2012 and thank you to everyone for making this year so great!!
Well damn it! I always hate this time of year! My drive to work lets me cheat during the summer months and I get to spend a few extra minutes in the morning with my babies and that guy I married. My day at home already starts at 5:30a...I can't back it up any further than I already have because daycare doesn't open early enough and neither does my brain!!
My only change left now would be no longer enjoying breakfast at home with the girls and instead taking them directly to school so they have their bowl of cereal there. It'll save me 15 minutes every morning and get me to work before 8a like I need so I can leave between 4:00p - 4:30p. To me, it's more important on the back end of the day so I can be home in time to have dinner with the girls at 6p and spend a tiny amount of fun time with them before bed at 7p.
I complain about it because I drive from Brighton to Boulder every day and as I'm stressing looking at the clock, I look over at the young girl in the BMW her daddy no doubt bought her with her hair all a mess wearing what she likely slept in and her backseat full of clothes on hangers. Good for her! She's driving to her new world, moving all her crap down to Boulder so she can start her fall semister at CU. Either that or she got kicked out and is living out of the BMW. I'll choose to believe the first. But she is the reason I'm late today. Her and all the other back to school kids preparing for fall semister.
I hate this time of year because of traffic. Now I'll have to go back to my old route and following The Lady That Uses Her Rear-view Mirror As a akme-up Counter. Oh oh! Can't wait to see that Honda! Maybe she's figured out how to get up earlier? You think??
Prince William and Kate Middleton got married today. I got my hair done! While I was not one of many that woke up at ?? to watch the event, I am one that has Goggled the highlights and am glad to have found a 15 minute video on CNN that covered my every desire of all things royal I wished to see today. Minus the royal wedding donuts at work, I missed nothing.
But as I watched such a joyous occasion, I can’t help but steal my own glance at my darling Prince Phillip. Sitting in the kitchen of my Richmond American Home Palace (aka: The Andrew at Buffalo Run) I view him in ahh and wonder as he sits so ungracefully on the couch watching Netflix reruns of Scrubs and reflect on my own "Royal Wedding". Almost three years ago, I got married to my own prince. Almost two years ago, we started our family adding our twin girls to the mix. Almost a year ago, we moved in to our palace. My dress was not Alexander McQueen, but Maggie Sottero. My Westminster Abbey was the Buffalo Run Golf Course and my Prince William is Phillip Lawrence. And when he asks me if I’m blogging about the royal wedding, I lie and say NO!! All royal enough for me!
Best wishes to those who got married today. I hope they realize that behind it all is the secret of what it really means. And I sure hope they have fun with it!! I am!
Love you Phillip…
Today is Dr. Seuss' Birthday and there is a huge party at the girls school today. When they said dress up as your favorite character or in your PJ's for party time, I just couldn't let that one go!
I’m interested to see how this one pans out. I am a huge fan of Taylor Swift for so many reasons. She’s an incredible song writer and story teller. She’s a very young woman with a drive and dedication that I envy. She makes me feel like we are friends and if I met her when I was in Nashville I’d feel comfortable saying “Hey, Taylor! What’s up! LOVE the new CD – LET’S GO GET COFFEE!” Her raw truth and innocence reminds me of another favorite artist, P!nk who turned her romantic troubles into a worldwide scream of all the things she needed to say TO her husband that couldn’t.
Being the huge fan I am, I’ve (to the displeasure of Phill) listened to Speak Now over and over…AND OVER again and can sing the album on my own with every lyric memorized. Much like Adam Young of Owl City, I too like to decode Taylor’s stories to figure out who they are about. While the song Dear John was a media fueled no brainer, I was wonderstruck by who Enchanted could have possibly been about and I wondered if this was a repeat of Taylor’s high school crush with a love connection missed?
Maybe it’s not? The subject of her song Enchanted revealed his identity today with a beautiful response of thank you posted to his bands site and I really hope this Valentine’s Day someone picks up the phone and calls Taylor to retrieve her Valentine!
Here’s to your Nashville romance! This is the kind of stuff Rosanne and Johnny were made of! Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
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